2nd day past chemo

Today is Saturday, May 30 and now I am working my way through the last of my A/C dosage.  This is the half way mark, and I am so glad.  I am tired and don't have any appetite, and drinking 12 0z of water every hour   seems a chore.  But in the scheme of things, it is really going pretty good.  

I am trying to  read a bit when I can.  Candy Love, loaned to me by Kate, is so funny.  I think it was written for Kate.  A Year in Provence, about a Brit couple learning to live small town life in the south of France.  Easy to pick up and put down.  Emma, by Jane Austin, sometimes drives me crazy, but makes my brain work.  Waiting, a lifetime waitress, another donation of Kate's, is also funny and easy to pick up and put down. Island's in the Stream, Hemmingway.  I take this a little at a time.  Added recently, The Greatest Generation, by Tom Brokaw and Travels with My Aunt by Graham Greene.   More suggestions welcome.  I just finished one that was great all about living in the hills in West Virginia during the early 1940's.  It was great but I can't remember what it was called or who wrote it......my brain obviously needs more exercise.

I still am so happy about the great reunion we had last weekend.  I am still sleeping so much.

Dan will be traveling the beginning of next week so I will have some friends in and maybe play cards, or pull out old pictures, or something.  Hopefully a little less sleeping than the last time.

Kate is in DC on her internship, and Danny is there for the weekend to see her!  I know they will have fun and that makes me so happy.

Rachel came by to say hi and tell us a bit about her classes this summer.  And show us pictures of her Zion trip.  Angel's Landing was incredible, and the whole hike so beautiful.  

My look into the outside world is small but greatly appreciated. 

I hope everyone is well, and send my love,

Carmine 

Feeling Like Myself

This is the end of Wednesday and I have had  two strong days.  I worked, met with my girlfriends Tuesday night, felt like my old self and laughed. Today I was at work again.  Notice, no crying or whining.  Being in the midst of activity at Neighborhood Ministries was great.  I only feel bad that I am there for such a small amount of time when there is so much to be done.  Summer Interns are there now, and the level of activity is high getting ready for this summer's Kid's Club.  There isn't  much time to play catch up over what I have missed in the days I have been gone, just jump in and line up some things for the next week.  My on and off schedule have left many others covering for me along with all their other duties.  

I can't believe that tomorrow it starts all over again.  The great news is that this is round # 4 of chemo, so that means that I am half way through!  After tomorrow, I will be done with the 1st chemo drug and on to another, which they say is generally tolerated better by most women.  Woo hoo!  I will keep all this in mind over the next several days.  

I will not be going to Sonic for my cold drink tomorrow, I am really sickened by the thought of all that overly sweet slushy.  My plan is to try something really cold but not very sweet.  Right now Ice Tea with lemon and no sugar sounds pretty good.  Or unsweetened  Iced coffee.  It just has to last about 25 minutes and be REALLY cold.  Maybe coffee in my stomache isn't the best idea ....... Someone needs to make an Arnold Palmer icee for Circle K stores.  

I haven't lost my eyelashes or eyebrows yet, so I am thinking that I may actually get to keep them the whole way through. I would like this very much.  I can deal with it if not.  But still.

No plans for the weekend, we have a couple of movies in case I happen to have any interest or energy for them.  Plus I have a couple of books to read if I can stay awake.  Maybe this weekend I will even be up to sitting out on the patio with  my feet in the pool and Dan on one side and Zeke's big wet nose nudging me on the other.  Hopefully I will write in this blog so you will know how it is going.....   :-)  Carmine

Wonderful

We had such a good reunion.  We ate, we laughed, we hugged, took pictures, heard about all the kids and wished we had more time together and then ate more Mexican food.   Now everyone has said goodbye. Everyone was loving and caring.  I cried after they left.  I always cry after goodbyes.

It would be awesome to do this every year.

Sunny AZ

Today is Saturday and the weekend is going well.  We are having a great time with all the family.  

Last night's 80th birthday bash went well.  We ended up having dinner catered in Wickenburg, AZ where Dan's folks live.  It was so good to see everyone hugging and laughing and catching up on each other's lives.  We found out a few more details about Grandpa's growing up years on the farm.  We retold old stories and added new ones.  This is the 1st time ever we have all been together.  It is a treasure.

I am wishing we all lived closer together.  I end up thinking this about friends and family so often. I am so grateful for the far reaches where we have traveled and have friends, but then I wish we could see each other and do life together, have barbecues, call up spur of the moment for breakfast, hold each other and cry when we need a shoulder, attend kid's play's at school or soccer games and .... you get it.  Adventure, travel and exploring, making a difference in the world God put  me on are important but I  also want to have coffee and gelato with all of you whenever I can.   ( if I EVER  quit needing naps. )

We sat under the gazebo last night and soaked up more of each other's company.  This is good.

Today, Thai lunch (the metal taste goes away only while I am eating - this could be a dangerous prospect.  I need to get lots more gum!) before everyone went off to Wickenburg again to assemble birthday presents and visit more with Grandpa.   More sleeping on my part.  Zzzzz

Now I am going to sit at the edge of the pool in the shade and soak my feet and try to strain my brain with a soduku puzzle.  Praying for you and your days.

Carmine

 

Sleeping Sickness

Good Morning,  it has been surprisingly overcast and humid here in Phoenix the last couple of days.  We had some thunder and lightning, lots of wind, and a scattering of rain.  This usually happens in July and August, not May.  As I would like to blame everything on Chemo, including cellulite, Bad Hair Days (!!), headaches, mood swings, and tiredness,  I could also include the weather...

I have been SO, SO tired since this last treatment.  I can't imagine sleeping through the night after so many naps, but I do.  I went to lunch with my neighbor, Sue, and was walking to the door of the house thinking of bed afterwards.  We went to The Good Egg, which was just right, I was able to order plain eggs and toast and yogurt for lunch, and she could have avocados and bacon and salsa, no problem.  

I seem to have developed a metallic taste in the last few days. (in my mouth, I personally don't taste like metal :-).  It doesn't seem to change the way my food tastes.  Someone asked what I do about that, fortunately I don't  have to take any other medication I just chew lots of gum.   

I haven't been as social this week, just because I have been so tired.  I did manage a walk around the block on Tuesday morning early before it got too hot.  No great stories to tell, the houses still all look the same, no coyotes chasing down ducks, and hardly anyone out at all.  I had plans to be phoning friends, and getting out a bit.  Maybe next week!  

We are looking forward to the weekend.  Dan's brother and sisters and their spouses will all be arriving on Friday for his Dad, Merlyn's, 80th birthday.  Dad has been in the hospital this week following up on some heart concerns, so pray that he will be healthy enough to enjoy some attention and affection and festivities honoring him.   

Dan and I will celebrate our 29th Anniversary this weekend as well!  

I have loved your love and prayers, calls and notes!  I haven't figured out tech enough to know how to respond to posts you make.  I can return emails though (danm58@netzero.net).

Much love,

Carmina Bella

  

Friday after chemo

So far things are going much better than before.  I am not at all nauseous, can carry on a conversation, laugh some, and eat a little.  Mostly I am really sleepy, and tired.  Not a bad "day after"!    I am really psyched and hoping that this is going to be a trend.   

My friend Bunny drove me to get my shot of Neulasta this morning. Neulasta helps to increase my white blood cell count and therefore prevent the risk of infections. (chemo kills white and red blood cells and plasma cells along with cancer cells, hair cells, and other fast growing cells in the body) 

Afterwards, I napped and had a little homemade chicken soup from my friend Lynn.  I guess I could eat it because I didn't cook it (that last batch I made was a disaster.) Rachel stopped by and had a quick visit on her way to work.  She told us about her hike in Payson yesterday. They had a great time rappelling, hiking, wading through snow melt streams.    I don't think she has slept since a couple of days ago.  

I thought I might sit down and read a bit after this post, but now I am ready to snooze again.  zzzz.  Maybe I'll read later.

Thanks again for the prayer and good wishes.  :-)  Carmine

Hi ho Hi ho It's off to work I go!

Today is Wednesday morning, and I have been having a much better week.  Right now the doors and windows are open while it is still fairly cool outside.  There are birds singing, the breeze is blowing , and Zeke is pestering me to rub his belly.  I love this day God made.  

Mother's Day was so good.  We got up early and went to Cave Creek while it was still cool and joined lots of our friends, just visiting and having coffee.  Then a big group of us went out for breakfast at the Good Egg just a little ways down the road in Carefree.  We headed to church after that.  A bunch of the kids at church were curious about me being bald and asked Dan if they could see...so after the service I took off my wig. (I am still taking suggestions for names for my little hairy friend!! I am not so creative on my own)   Lots of bugged eyes and one girl said that the hat I had "worked" for me.  :-)

That was a busy morning, so we went home and had a simple lunch.  The rest of the day was spent in the pool under the umbrella reading.  Rachel came by on her way to work with a Sock Monkey for me and chocolate and stuff.  Danny called and Katie called too!  They love me :-).  I am so proud of all of them.  They have been working hard and are doing some incredible things.  I don't think I was ever so smart or brave.  

I tried to watch "Horton Hears a Who" after dinner but only made it half way through before falling asleep.  It was  great day.

Monday and Tuesday and today are Neighborhood Ministries work days.  Lots of hugs in between trying to get things organized from being gone so much and knowing I will be gone again starting tomorrow.  A couple of Dr appt.s and my Tuesday night group (dinner and girlfriends!) have filled in some of the week, too.  I haven't gotten any trips to the gym or workouts in this last two weeks.  I will try to go up and down the stairs at work several extra times, but that really doesn't cut it.  I have had the wierdest appetite lately.  Campbell's chicken noodle soup, plain real mashed potatoes, plain toast, nothing spicy (which is outrageous), no coffee, not much sugar, and plain scramble eggs.  Just writing it is boring.   

Danny had his tonsils out on Monday and it all went well.  He is sore but fine.  Even without his mom there (imagine that).  His computer died though, so he doesn't have email while he is stuck at home.  

I think I am ready for this next round of chemo.  I know that God made all my days and I am so grateful for the daily reminders that He is providing for the hard ones too, not just the happy sunny ones.  I hugged and cried with a woman who can't find work and who's husband can't either.  Rent is behind and they have only a few meals of food in the house.  She is a hard worker, and wants to provide a good life for her children.  We both ended with the words that God is here with us in this place - it's difficult and we don't know how all the days will go - but we know He is real.  Finding the practical way to be His hands in a hurting world is pressing and necessary though.  I can't just focus on my situation or it will cover and swallow me.  

Dan will be in Texas for the day tomorrow, so my friend Lynn will be with me for my chemo.

Maybe she won't have to sit on a stool but get a real chair if it isn't too crowded when we are there.  I will be back to Strawberry Limeade from Sonic - the cranberry limeade wasn't very good.  I wish there was a peach one.  

We are looking forward to Dan's Dad's 80th birthday on May 22nd.  Dan's sisters and brother and their spouses are coming to celebrate.  It should be a really fun weekend and it's only 2 weeks away.  So pray that this round of chemo goes better and I am over the worst before they all come.  (then we could dance til the sun comes up if we want! :-)

Have a great day,

Carmina Bella

Better Outlook

Yup,  things are looking brighter.  I woke up feeling much better, after sleeping all day Friday.

I was able to make a short trip to the grocery store, and then..... we went to the movies! Yea!

Star Trek was so fun and just a great escape. "These are the voyages of the star ship Enterprise..."  I can foresee II and III must already be in the works.

I can tell I am still running on less of a battery charge but I know these are just cycles to keep working through.  I received more wonderful cards in the mail (cyber and snail) which never fail to cheer me up and remind me of how fortunate I am to have so many caring and loving friends and family.  If you called me and didn't get an answer, I was sleeping and will call you later this next week. 

We had my Dad over for dinner, and then we all sat outside and talked and listened to the fountain and enjoyed it as the night cooled.  Dan even jumped in the pool for a quick cool dip. 

That's enough excitement for today. 

Hugs, 

Carmine

Yuck

Today is Friday and the last couple of days have been tough.  I seem to have had a reaction to medication that I started on Weds.   Basically, I was curled up in the dark. Sick, weak, nauseous, stomach cramping, headache, and occasional jitters or something.  

Last night I slept better, and woke this morning feeling weak, but coming out of the yuck.  

Not much appetite, which is unusual...I love to eat everything.  Just not now.  

I am getting used to walking around with out hair.  Most of the neighbors have seen me now, so I am not scaring anyone.  

Hopefully sunshine and rainbows and ENERGY tomorrow, and a more interesting update!

Carmine

Flowers, flowers mmmmmm :-)

Well, I had to think a minute to come up with  a  positive title.  It didn't take too long though.

The past days have been slow and tiring.  I don't accomplish much.  But the great news is how much love and care I am wrapped in.  Sunday and Monday I received flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, my friend Bunny brought me a healthy fruity lunch and took me on an errand, I've heard from all the kids, and even my yard has a bunch of flowers for me to look at. (this is Phoenix, so a "bunch" is relative and they will soon become crispy remnants, but it still brightens my day.) 

I heard from Danny that his yard is full of flowers, azaleas, rhododendron, dogwood (I think), etc. I would love to see it so lush and colorful.    I wish I could go see him now.  

Dan put up a gazebo in the backyard so I have lots of shade to sit under.  The pool is about 70 degrees and the air about 97 degrees today (?)   I won't be in the pool, but it is all very soothing and restful. 

I will get bloodwork done today to see how my white cells, etc, are doing.  If my energy level is any indication, the chemo is working.  I ate breakfast and was ready to rest........ I am looking forward to the  part of the week when the energy and enthusiasm all come bouncing back.  :-)   Every so often I see my reflection, and am surprised by the older bald woman walking around in our house.  Did you know that your hair and bangs hide a lot of little lines and wrinkles?   I still have eyebrows and lashes, so I am using mascara while I can....

Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement.  It works. It makes me cry but in a good way.  

I am praying for each of you, because I know that life is a challenge for us all, and I hope you are encouraged to keep making a difference in every part of your day.   Grace and hope to you,

Carmine

2 Down - six to go!

Carmine had her second dose of Chemo this week. We are very thankful that she did not experience as much nausea as last time. I'm writing because she is tired and trying to rest.

I've attached a picture of her sporting the Terrier (wig) and a picture Sans Terrier......her hair was thinning rapidly so the clippers were used yesterday afternoon.

Carmine's looking forward to visiting by phone and in person this week, we're trusting her energy will be building over the next few days.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, dan